Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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