I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
