I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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