She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
