Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
