i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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