This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
