I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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