I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
we're so committed to being not committed
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
