she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
and she was petting her beer can
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize