You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize