I looked at my own cervix.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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