Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
