It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
ok first of all what the fuck
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
