Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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