I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
