this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
