one two three fourrrrnication!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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