We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
