the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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