you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
