Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
