nut hugger
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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