Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
