We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
