butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
