did you get engaged???
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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