Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
