we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
