You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
