im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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