i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
