Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm like, not good at living.
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