Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
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Found the puke drawer
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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