Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
