Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Nicole vs. Life
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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