I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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