I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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