yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
