the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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