with your own penis?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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