Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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