so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
