2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
