I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
