Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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