What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
