I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
