I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
