Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
