Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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