I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
