My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
