come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
