she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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