we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
