i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
