you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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