Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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