Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
