my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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