so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
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Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
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when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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