These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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